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Friday, May 11, 2012

Things That Are Irking Me

My mind is preoccupied with several annoyances this week. The first is Hillary Clinton's makeup, or rather, the lack thereof. Apparently Mrs. Clinton appeared at a press conference without makeup and wearing dark-rimmed glasses. This fact has caused the Internet media to go berserk. A google search of "Hillary Clinton No Makeup" produces dozen of pages of observations, commentary, photographs, and jokes about the Secretary of State having "the nerve" to show up sans any product on her face but "a hint of lipstick." One search result carried the headline "Putting on a Brave Face" while another shouted "Is This Appropriate?" At this very moment I can feel my eyes slipping into the crossed position. Who cares if Mrs. Clinton is wearing makeup or not? At least when "John Boehner Crying" is searched, about the same number of results pop up, suggesting that the blogosphere isn't bias, just ridiculous (although I'm much more concerned about the Speaker blubbering over traditional Irish music than I am that Hillary appeared without mascara).

Another annoyance: there's a commercial now selling cleaning products that clean products that clean. That is, there's a product that cleans the inside of high efficiency washing machines, and another product that cleans the inside of dishwashers. Aren't washing machines and dishwashers already full of water and soap? So why do we need something to clean something that swishes soap and water around? I get the sense this is Madison Avenue at its best. Next I guess will be a vacuum cleaner that needs to be vacuumed and a broom that needs to be swept.

It's possible I'm annoyed in general because I fell down my back steps on Monday and have a black and blue on my rump the size of Montana. I was wearing slippers in the rain, the steps were slick, and I am clearly an idiot. For a minute there, after bouncing basketball-style down the wooden stairs on my tailbone, I thought I might be spending the rest of my life in a wheelchair taking sustenance from a tube, but my tough old peasant constitution came through and I walked away bruised but otherwise healthy. I admit at the time of the incident I was not wearing makeup. Maybe that was the problem. And I didn't even cry, although my clothes did get dirty so after I wash them in the washing machine I guess I'll need to wash the washing machine.

Is it me, or does anybody else think life out there is getting too complicated?


1 comment:

Soap Scum said...

Now there's a question.

About Me

Newspaper columnist; blogger; author of Delta Dead; author of 101 Tip$ From My Depression-Era Parents; author of Australian Fly; editor: ...And I Breathed (author, Jason Garner, former CEO of Global Music at Live Nation), "A History of the Lawrence S. Donaldson Residence"; "The Port Washington Yacht Club: A Centennial Perspective"; "The Northeastern Society of Periodontists: The First Fifty Years"; editor: NESP Bulletin; editor: PWYC Mainsail; past editorial director: The International Journal of Fertility & Women's Medicine; past editor of: Long Island Power & Sail, Respiratory Review; Medical Travelers' Advisory; School Nurse News; Clear Images; Periodontal Clinical Investigations; Community Nurse Forum