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Thursday, March 1, 2012

Feminists and Lesbians and Communists...Oh My!

Finally we have a hero! Someone who has cast illumination on that scandalous organization known around the world as radical maniacs...nay, demonized maniacs...maniacs who encourage the downfall of women and family. This group does not conduct its evildoing on foreign land led by men with unpronounceable names. They are right here among the clueless Americans, walking the streets, luring in members with promises of a future too terrifying to imagine. They wear uniforms and meet in church basements, and once a year their masses are sent forth with lists and pens and innocent expressions to knock on doors...and sell us cookies. They are (drum roll here): The Dreaded Girl Scouts.

So yes. Indiana Republican State Representative Bob Morris, the hero in our story, has denounced the Girl Scouts, claiming to colleagues that after "talking to some well-informed constituents" and conducting "a small amount of web research" he has determined the Girl Scouts are a "tactical arm of Planned Parenthood" that encourages abortion and "homosexual lifestyles." He also noted that the fact First Lady Michelle Obama has a role as an honorary president of the New York City-based group "should give each of us reason to pause before our individual and collective endorsement of the organization." He evidently also got crazy that of the 50 role models studied by the Girl Scouts, "only three have a briefly mentioned religious background; all the rest are feminists, lesbians, or communists." Try as I might, I couldn't find the list of fanatic role models to which he refers. Any researchers out there: if you find the list please comment below and provide a link. I'm interested to know who all these feminists, lesbians, and communists are that the Girl Scout leaders are insisting their cookie sellers admire.

Representative Morris has since apologized for the letter, which he says was meant for colleagues only (it was leaked to a local paper before going viral). He blathered a bit about his words being reactionary and emotional and went on to chat about God and The Pope and family and radical liberals and all the other favorite topics of the far right. In the end, he still refused to sign a resolution to honor the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts, which is what set all this off to begin with.  

This news item, and this guy, make the inside of my skull itch. Maybe it's an aneurysm about to explode, or maybe it's just my brain trying to get out and away from the concept that Morris is a representative of the people, a person in our government standing alongside historical figures like Washington and Jefferson and Adams. How did this clown ever get into a position of power?

There is so much more to say. That vilifying the Girl Scouts is almost as ridiculous as vilifying Planned Parenthood, an organization I myself used when I was young and becoming sexually active and which gave me access to affordable gynecologic care, contraceptives, and, as needed, counseling (and no, I did not go to Planned Parenthood for an abortion, nor did any of my friends who also partook of PP's services). Or that claiming the Girl Scout credo includes sexualizing young girls so that...what? They'll run off and get pregnant so they can then run off and have an abortion at Planned Parenthood, thereby implying some deep conspiracy involving feminists and communists and Planned Parenthood making money on terminating pregnancy? The whole thing is so patently stupid that I can't even talk about it anymore, other than to say this: first the right goes after the Muppets, now the Girl Scouts. Mickey and Minnie, Daisy and Daffy, look out. You guys are probably next in the fundamentalist crosshairs.


Sissy said...

And on the heels of this Girl Scout story, this week on the news was an item than maggots were found in Girl Scout Cookies. Coincidence? Or someone, somewhere, trying to go to even greater lengths to destroy the reputation of the Girl Scouts. I have never heard of any problem with their delicious cookies until this year.

Kathleen Yasas said...

That's disturbing...on so many levels.

Confucius said...

Maggots not choosy. Blame fly.

Jim P said...

Very good point you made. With that said, I will take 3 boxes of mint cookies!

About Me

Newspaper columnist; blogger; author of Delta Dead; author of 101 Tip$ From My Depression-Era Parents; author of Australian Fly; editor: ...And I Breathed (author, Jason Garner, former CEO of Global Music at Live Nation), "A History of the Lawrence S. Donaldson Residence"; "The Port Washington Yacht Club: A Centennial Perspective"; "The Northeastern Society of Periodontists: The First Fifty Years"; editor: NESP Bulletin; editor: PWYC Mainsail; past editorial director: The International Journal of Fertility & Women's Medicine; past editor of: Long Island Power & Sail, Respiratory Review; Medical Travelers' Advisory; School Nurse News; Clear Images; Periodontal Clinical Investigations; Community Nurse Forum